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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26785444">Fluffybutt</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lecturience/pseuds/lecturience'>lecturience</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(but also), (it must be love why else hasn’t he strangled him yet), Back When They Were Kids, Brotherly Love, Bunnies!, Fluff, Gen, Hashirama being Hashirama, Humor, Tobirama The Longsuffering, Tobirama The Petty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:41:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,456</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26785444</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lecturience/pseuds/lecturience</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>On their way home from a mission, a young Hashirama and Tobirama make a bet as to who can catch dinner first. Tobirama wins … until Hashirama gets a look at the fluffy rabbit and falls in love.</p>
<p>It all goes downhill from there.</p>
<p>But Tobirama will get his revenge!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Senju Hashirama &amp; Senju Tobirama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>130</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Fluffybutt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>What is this!? Did I- did I really write a <i>non-smutty</i> Naruto fanfic?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rounding the trees, spotting a rabbit caught in his snare, Tobirama smirked. He <i>knew</i> he’d heard something! And though it had been a risk, approaching so quickly, in case the rabbit hadn’t yet been caught and he scared it off, it had paid off. Hashirama had been wiggling in that undignified, excited way that said he was close to victory, and Tobirama would rather <i>die</i> before having to pay his forfeit—forced to… <i>be nice to everyone</i> for a solid month.</p><p>Raising his voice so Hashirama, a little ways back at the river, would hear, he shouted, “I win!”</p><p>There was a splash and a yelp. Tobirama rolled his eyes.</p><p>Hashirama bounded into view, shoes squelching with every step, then drooped dramatically. “Aw, but I was so close!” He twiddled the sloppily handmade fishing rod in his hands. “I swear something was nibbling. Just a few more seconds…”</p><p>“I <i>win</i>,” Tobirama repeated, arms crossed. “Which means you have to pay your forfeit. All my chores are <i>your</i> chores for a month.” He jerked his chin at the rabbit struggling futilely to get free. “Including dinner. Best get started.”</p><p>Another pout, but Hashirama was a good sport if nothing else, and never backed down from a lost bet. Tobirama pondered heading back to camp and making himself blatantly, tauntingly comfortable just to rub his well-earned idleness in Hashirama’s face, but before he could, Hashirama froze with a quiet, quavering, “<i>Ohhhh</i>…” and Tobirama tensed, all of the ‘big brother is about to be Difficult’ alarms going off in his head.</p><p>“Hashirama,” he said warningly, taking a step closer.</p><p>Crouched in front of the trap, Hashirama whirled to face him. In his arms was the rabbit, leg freed of the snare. Hashirama hugged it to his chest, under his chin, and stared up at Tobirama with wide, pleading eyes.</p><p>“No,” Tobirama said sharply, without much hope of success. “Whatever it is—<i>no</i>.”</p><p>“But, but he’s so fat and fluffy and<i> cuuuuuuttteeeee</i>!” Tears filled Hashirama’s eyes. “We can’t eat him, little brother, we just <i>can’t</i>!” And then he sniffled loudly, all but a threat to lunge and sob and <i>snot</i> all over Tobirama—he would know, it had happened before, <i>far</i> too many times—and Tobirama dropped his face into his hands, backing away.</p><p>“Dinner is still your job,” he said hastily, trying to sound stern and less like he was running away as he, er, made a strategic retreat. “If you insist on letting the rabbit go, you better find something else quick. I’m hungry, servant!”</p><p>Despite the mocking insult, Hashirama brightened up, tears miraculously vanished. Tobirama rolled his eyes and stomped away.</p><hr/><p>Hashirama caught and cooked enough fish for them to feel almost uncomfortably full, and the next day they headed home. Just a few minutes from the Senju compound, Tobirama noticed something from the corner of his eye. Was the grass beside the road growing? But Hashirama only grew things idly when he was distracted. Was Hashirama <i>not paying attention to their surroundings</i> while they were <i>on a mission</i>? Well, returning from one, and nearly home—but still!</p><p>Spinning on his heel, ready to give his brother a piece of his mind, Tobirama froze then snapped his mouth shut. Hashirama’s head jerked up, an innocent expression plastered on his face that Tobirama didn’t trust <i>one bit</i>.</p><p>“What. Did. You. Do?” Tobirama demanded, equal parts suspicious and resigned.</p><p>“Nothing!”</p><p>“I <i>saw</i> you shoving that grass in your pack, Hashirama!”</p><p>“Ah, well, it’s… nice grass?”</p><p>Tobirama’s eye narrowed and he stepped closer, reaching for the pack. Hashirama tried to keep it from him. A game of keep-away followed until Tobirama’s patience snapped. He kicked Hashirama in the shin, hard, and as his brother yelped and fell over and wailed dramatically, Tobirama managed to grab the pack, open it, and—</p><p>“Mr Fluffybutt!” Hashirama cried out, darting to his feet and catching the rabbit before it could bound away.</p><p>Tobirama stared between the rabbit and Hashirama—who was cooing at it—and then the rabbit again, and Hashirama again—who was now throwing him pleading eyes, with that rarely-seen edge of steel behind it that said he was <i>Determined</i>.</p><p>Throwing up his hands, Tobirama declared, “You’re explaining to Father!”</p><hr/><p>Tobirama half expected rabbit stew for dinner, their father’s way of teaching Hashirama a lesson about practicality and misplaced sentiment. Instead, Hashirama happily built an oversized, unnecessarily elaborate rabbit hutch with Wood Release, half outside and half inside his room—“So Mr Fluffybutt can visit me!”—while Father watched on with an unimpressed look, but didn’t object.</p><p>“How?” Tobirama asked later, genuinely curious.</p><p>Hashirama beamed and happily explained.</p><p>As it turned out, he had used his native cunning—which few knew he even had, hidden behind annoying overemotional dramatics as it often was—and brought the rabbit around to visit all the youngest clan children before reporting to Father. When Butsuma sharply told his son that his new ‘pet’ was better served in a cooking pot, Hashirama had pouted, but not argued. The easy capitulation was suspicious enough that Father followed when Hashirama left, and was therefore witness to Hashirama informing <i>all</i> the children of their new fluffy friend’s destined fate.</p><p>“So that’s what all the caterwauling was about,” Tobirama muttered, remembering the suddenly loud crying of what felt like every child in the compound—he’d been half out of his armour at the time, and by the time he went to investigate, it had been resolved. Tobirama rolled his eyes, pretending to be exasperated, when really, it had been an admirably clever plan. “I take it they went crying to their parents? Who then descended upon Father en masse to give him a piece of their minds?”</p><p>Hashirama’s smile widened, bright and sweet and <i>utterly devious</i>.</p><p>Tobirama’s lips twitched with amusement.</p><hr/><p>The amusement didn’t last long.</p><p>It turned out Mr Fluffybutt was <i>Mrs</i> Fluffybutt. She hadn’t been fat—she’d been pregnant. The elaborate ‘bedroom nook’ Hashirama created in the hutch was enough to hide the little ones until they were mobile. And the hutch bars, while sufficient to keep in an adult rabbit, were useless against tiny bunnies that could easily slip between them.</p><p>That was all more amusing than anything—and exasperating, but most everything Hashirama did <i>was</i>—except for one thing…</p><p>Hashirama decided the best way to retrieve them was to free Mrs Fluffybutt to track down her babies. Mrs Fluffybutt darted away, and despite many efforts, neither her nor the babies could be caught. Personally, Tobirama suspected his brother was worried Father would turn thoughts of rabbit stew on the bunnies, and was taking pre-emptive action to prevent it—a suspicion substantiated by the hollow roots—tiny Wood Release escape tunnels—he found strategically placed around the compound, and the grass suddenly sprouting up everywhere, not to mention the larger than expected crop of carrots and lettuce in various gardens.</p><p>Also telling were the many times Tobirama caught Hashirama with Mrs Fluffybutt or one of her many bunnies in his lap, cooing over them till he realised he had an audience, at which point he would dramatically—but carefully—fling them off as if they were hopping away of their own accord.</p><p>Tobirama gave him a flat look every time.</p><hr/><p>The real trouble though came a year or so later, when the babies had grown and had babies of their own, who had babies of <i>their</i> own, and you could hardly walk a single step without spotting something fluffy hopping from the corner of your eye.</p><p>Hashirama was delighted!</p><p>And despairing, because Father made him clean up all the messes.</p><p>Tobirama didn’t really care either way until the day he entered his room to find his work desk <i>desecrated</i>, rabbit poop everywhere, glass vials shattered on the floor, his notes utterly disorganised, some of the papers torn, and some <i>eaten and irretrievable</i>.</p><p>“HASHIRAMA! I’M GOING TO <b>EAT</b> YOUR RABBITS!”</p><p>A startled shriek preceded Hashirama racing to Tobirama’s room, shoulder colliding with the doorframe in his rush and sending him into a spinning tumble and then a face-first skid across the floor. Tobirama snorted, ire appeased by his brother’s pain and humiliation—but only a <i>little</i>.</p><p>“Rabbit stew,” he hissed, reaching for the nearest rabbits, managing to snatch two up by the ears before the rest bolted. “Rabbit pie. Rabbit roast. Rabbit—”</p><p>Hashirama scrambled to his feet. “Not Mr Hoppyhop and Miss Twitchynose!”</p><p>Tobirama froze. Hashirama took the opportunity to grab them from him and chivvy them out the door, which he then slammed shut and leaned against, arms outflung and body contorted oddly into a human shield.</p><p>“You named them,” Tobirama said flatly. He buried his face in his hands. “Oh gods, you named them <i>all</i> didn’t you.”</p><p>“Maybe? ...I can’t help it! They’re all so adorable! They’re my <i>frieeeeeeendssss</i>!”</p><p>Tobirama was torn. On one hand, Hashirama was <i>Attached</i>, and Tobirama wasn’t heartless, and he <i>did</i> love his brother, against all reason. On the other hand—he glanced at the ruin of his workspace, and his expression hardened.</p><p>“Um, brother. That— that’s a scary look. You, um, you’re not going to—”</p><p>“Your rabbits are safe,” Tobirama bit out, because he had a better idea, a <i>much</i> better idea. It would be a <i>permanent</i> reminder, so this <i>never happened again</i>. Although… “So long as you clean this up!”</p><p>Hashirama sighed in relief, then jumped to work. “I will! Absolutely! It’ll be spick and span in no time! The spickest! The <i>spannest</i>!”</p><hr/><p>A month later, Tobirama’s chakra finally reached a sufficient level that he was able to sign Mother’s summoning contract. He’d know it was coming for a while, and had been excited of course—he’d… missed the tigers who had raised him as much as Mother had, before her passing, and who he hadn’t been able to see for some years since—but in the wake of the rabbit incident, he was also <i>spitefully expectant</i>.</p><p>Because Tobirama had A Plan.</p><hr/><p>Bloodied thumb. Boar, dog, bird, monkey, ram. Slam the hand down.</p><p>A puff of smoke, a sense of displacement.</p><p>“Cub,” a familiar, dearly missed voice rumbled in delight—Mother’s old personal summon, Byakko. “Have you come to face the trial?”</p><p>Tobirama tried not to smile like a giddy Hashirama—he had more dignity than that—instead lifting his chin in determination. “I have.”</p><p>“What will you hunt then?”</p><p>His lips curled in a mean smirk. “<i>Rabbit</i>.”</p><p>He expected at least a little disapproval. The hunt was a test, a trial, a way to prove oneself worthy of the tiger summons. Rabbits weren’t exactly fearsome prey. Agile and difficult to pin, yes, but not dangerous. So Tobirama expected disapproval, which he would quickly ease by informing them that he would only <i>start</i> with rabbit, and then move on to something more challenging.</p><p>What he got instead was deep concern.</p><p>“Cub, are you <i>sure</i>?” A huge head ducked down to butt at his chest, nearly knocking him off his feet despite its gentleness.</p><p>Confused, Tobirama assured them he was, and after some murmurs between the tigers present they reluctantly granted him his choice of trial.</p><p>Strange. But he’d make sure to bring back something more impressive as well.</p><hr/><p>The rabbits were huge.</p><p>With <i>fangs and claws</i>.</p><p>And they weren’t afraid to use them.</p><hr/><p>Somehow, he survived. And succeeded.</p><p>The tigers were very impressed.</p><p>After his injuries had been seen to—cuts and scrapes licked closed while he tried not to wrinkle his nose, though the bruises would have to heal on their own—the carcass was taken to one side to be skinned and gutted and shared out. Meanwhile, Byakko directed Tobirama to sit atop a rock, one tall enough that they were at eye-height. A quick bite, and blood dripped from Byakko’s foreleg into a wooden bowl. She dipped a claw in then raised it, dark amber eyes meeting his expectantly.</p><p>“Well Cub, where will it be? A tiger isn’t a tiger without stripes.”</p><p>Tobirama glanced down at his arms with what was definitely not a pout. But if it had been, he would be justified. He’d intended to get his markings on his forearms like Mother used to have, but the demon rabbit’s fangs had dripped a venom that, while doing no visible injury, <i>burned like acid</i>. They’d been washed with water, and he was assured the pain would fade in a day or two, but for now every touch was agony. He’d need to pick somewhere else.</p><p>“My face,” he decided. Because if he couldn’t honour Mother, he’d honour the tigers, and wear their mark as boldly as he could, somewhere everyone would see.</p><p>Byakko chuffed, pleased. She studied his face for a moment, then nodded and lowered her claw to rest just under Tobirama’s jaw. He didn’t flinch. The bloodied claw pierced flesh and dragged up over his cheek before withdrawing. It hurt, a flash of white-hot pain, but Tobirama was a ninja, made to endure—besides, it had nothing on the rabbit acid—so he didn’t pull away, even as Byakko dipped her claw in the bowl again and cut a matching marking into the other side of his face. And then a third time—a stripe down his chin.</p><p>Nudging the bowl aside, she leaned in to lick his face, sealing the wounds over the red lines of tiger summon’s blood. Tobirama scrunched his eyes shut until she pulled back, then tried to be discreet about wiping his face. Judging by the flick of her tail and the amused glint in her eyes, he didn’t succeed, but she didn’t call him on it, instead sitting back on her haunches and inspecting him before nodding.</p><p>“There,” she rumbled, satisfied. “A proper tiger now.”</p><p>Another, slightly smaller tiger stepped forward and dropped something before him. “And your trophy.”</p><p>Tobirama picked it up, running fingers over white fur that was somehow both soft and bristly at once, and smirked.</p><hr/><p>Tobirama returned triumphant.</p><p>And <i>anticipatory</i>.</p><p>“You’re back!” Hashirama cheered, tackling Tobirama in a hug. He pulled back and then leaned close. “Ooh, your markings are so <i>cool</i>! And your trophy! What is it? What is it?” He patted the fur. “It’s not a lemur tail like Mother’s was. You won’t be able to wear it as a belt—it’s the wrong shape. And huge! Maybe a coat? Ooh, or a cape! Let’s take you to the tailor now. Or the tanner? Which one— wait, you haven’t told me what you hunted yet!”</p><p>A pause, savouring the anticipation, then Tobirama said, with relish, “<i>Rabbit</i>.”</p><p>Hashirama drew back, horrified. So horrified he couldn’t even bawl like the overgrown infant he pretended to be, just collapse to the ground with faint wheezing and eyes full of betrayal.</p><p>Tobirama laughed.</p><p>Vengeance was sweet.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I <i>did</i> write a non-smutty Naruto fanfic. It’s even gen! (But in my defence, it was born <i>from</i> a considerably racier MadaTobi fic I’m writing, where I threw in Hashirama having pet bunny rabbits as an aside, and my brain spawned a whole backstory for why, which doesn’t really fit there… so I wrote it here.)</p><hr/><p>  <b>Extra:</b></p><p>Tobirama decides on a neck ruff of course. He gets several made, because the fur isn’t exactly in great condition or one solid piece—the demon rabbit didn’t go down without a heck of a fight, and Tobirama gave as good as he got—and he doesn’t fancy a patchwork cloak. Besides, this way he has spares. It’s practical!</p><p>I like to imagine that Tobirama swanning around the compound with his fur ruffs was enough to scare away most of Hashirama’s rabbits—partly because he smells like dead rabbit and <i>what if he comes for us next run away!</i> and partly because he smells like gigantic predator and <i>he killed a monster we’ve no hope run away!</i>—thus solving the Senju rabbit infestation problem.</p><p>The few that remain are made of sterner stuff, and slightly chakra-capable, as close companion animals of ninja sometimes get. Not enough to be field-capable nin-animals themselves, but more intelligent and a little stronger, so perhaps… well, Tobirama’s hunt gave him a bit more appreciation—and wariness—of the potential rabbits held.</p><p>He convinces Hashirama to train them as <i>guard</i> rabbits—who scream shrilly at the sight of intruders, and also bite, focussing their tiny amount of chakra into making it strong enough to break fingers and toes—with a combination of ‘it would be cool’ and ‘if they’re <i>useful</i>, Father will definitely never consider eating them’.</p><p>Hashirama is won over. The rabbits are trained.</p><p>The Senju compound is thereafter guarded by <i>General</i> Fluffybutt and her descendants, the Fluffy Legion.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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